I'm Sorry

I'm sure you know who you are and if this is directed at you. If you're unsure then there is a good chance you don't need to worry about it at all. The purpose of this particular post is to apologize to a few about the way I feel I've been acting and to try to explain some of it.

I'm going though some things, & I'm not quite sure what anymore, that are literally making me question myself and by default the people I choose/accepted as friends. To the point where I think I might have subconsciously started pushing people away and rebuilding the walls I had put around myself long ago and worked hard to tear down. I don't want those walls going back up so once again I guess I must go to battle, and maybe even war this time, with myself because I don't want those walls going back up...if anything I want more of them to come down. So I guess the only true and important question right now is who will win? The me that not only doesn't want the walls rebuilt, but wants more to tear down or the me that wants them back up? I know what I want the answer to be...I want it to be the me that wants to take more down because if I let/put those walls back up I gonna not only lose all the ground I've covered so far, but also the friends I've made along the way & I don't want to lose them. I love them too much. Which means the side that wants to lose the walls has more to fight for because she has more to lose. Not only is she fighting for herself but for all her loved ones as well.

~Nina