Unknown

Ok so first of those of you who are reading this blog & my other one I want to let you know that the newest poem in the other one (the one posted shortly before this one) was actually written Easter Sunday while I was at work and is titled John because that is the main person it is about those of you who actually know me should know who John is in my life & if you don't or can't remember feel free to ask. If I don't know you well enough or want you to know I won't tell you. Secondly I hope everyone had a Happy Easter. & thirdly on to the actually blogging.

Ok so I had what I can only refer to as an emotional breakdown today. I'm not if if that is exactly what it was or not, but that is the closest name I could think of for it. The short of it is that basically two small and completely stupid things pissed me off so one minute I'm cleaning the living room (my daily chore) out of anger and the next thing I know I'm just wanting to go off alone and cry. So I end up in my room crying while trying to explain to my mom that I'm ok and I don't know why I'm upset and crying. She doesn't really listen to a word I'm saying or texting and thinks the whole thing as for the same reason why I hung up on my dad earlier.

I honestly had no idea (and still don't) as to why I broke down and started crying or why all the sudden I'd felt so alone in the world. Don't get me wrong most the time I tend to feel like I'm alone (despite the fact that I know differently) but this time was different....this time I not only felt alone, but like I was going to always be alone and that there was no hope for me ever. And it honestly scared me. Not only the fact that I felt that way but the knowledge that I could feel that way again because I don't know or understand why I felt that way still does scare me.

~Nina