Why do I always to this to myself every single year? Actually if I'm going to be honest with myself I do this twice a year...my Birthday and Christmas. I get my hopes up and get myself all excited thinking that the day is going to be special and not feel like every other bland and partially depressing day of the year. And every time I'm proven wrong and end up depressed on the one (actually two) day(s) a year that I shouldn't have to worry about being depressed. The day just doesn't seem to be as fun or as special as I feel like it should feel...or as it looks like other people seem to think it should feel.
I did partially enjoy the day trip to the mall and seeing my 'friends' again, but, and I hate to admit it, I have a good feeling I would have a better time if I hadn't invited my 'friends' along and had just done the family thing. The first 'friend' to show up was Kathy and the first words out of her mouth were "So how does it feel to have only two more years of school left?" Basically making me feel stupid & like an idiot because I'm just finishing up my freshmen year while they are both finishing up their sophmore years.
And don't get me started on the actual car ride.....no really don't because then I'll be in full blown rant mode and I don't want to be in rant mode at the moment....especially since even though it doesn't feel like I expected it to it is still my Birthday today...maybe tomorrow....or next time I get on-line I go into the full blown rant mode and give you detail about the car ride.
~Nina
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2 comments:
I'm sorry..
however, I'm not sure I can relate, on the effect that I don't make my birthdays to be a big deal, and then I'm never disappointed when they turn out shitty, and just like any other day.
I don't even think I was online for your birthday, but had I been, you would have gotten a huge 'ionowhatsoimmajustsaysomethinghuge' from me, to you. I wish I had had a stamp, I would have mailed you a letter, and made it all perty and stuff, lol.
Well as perty as a guy can make a letter anyway. :P Again, sorry your day was bad, but ranting can sometimes be good. So let it all out and go phew at the end of said rant, feeling some what better, and possibly relieved.
Also, I don't like your 'friend' who doesn't even pay enough attn to notice that one, you're in a lower year than them, and two, that you aren't even in school this term, if I remember correctly. ALSO, boo on her for not having enough concern to know not to mention it, knowing that not everyone can even afford to go to school like she might be able to.
*kicks stupid insensitive people*
Alright, I'm done. Keep your head held high and your chin up. There are those of us that still love you. :)
Happy birthday hon. That's really all I can say other than I can relate. If you need to talk, I'm here.
&; Kash
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