Looking Back

Some things just make me look backwards sometimes & sometimes that looking back depresses me. Right now I'm looking back & wondering why I didn't go to my prom, even though no one asked me. I mean my best friend didn't go either, but she went to an alt prom thrown by her church (& only the members of her church could go). Anyways, & then I realize I didn't go because of who I was (& I guess partially still am but I'm working on it) I didn't go because I don't do well in crowds where I don't really know anyone. Instead of enjoying the night I would be worrying about...let's just say my self-esteem sucks. & I would probably just end up spending $ getting all fancied up & buying a stupid ticket just to sit there & read my book, which I can do at home for free.

When those times happen I force myself to look towards my future & how I'm slowly, but surely changing my life for the better. It tends to take time to do so, but eventually I can pull myself back out of my slump. I don't know why I'm blogging or posting this, but I am.

~Nina