Anger & Heros

You're pissed that I'm pissed about the fact that y'all are talking about giving up & quitting. Well guess what? I'm human I have every fuckin right to feel pissed & express the fact that I am. Just like you have every right to just give up & quit. I may not know exactly what you are going through & my life may not be as hard as yours have ever been. But my life is hard, everyone's life is hard in one way or another. Every fuckin time I looked around me & thought "Why bother" and every time I had a razor or knife or sharp object, or was even driving & thought "Why not just end it now" I made myself think about the people who care for me & remind myself that I'm not the only one struggling & that there are people in the world who have it worse than me & yet they keep going & don't give up & If they can keep going than who the hell am I to give up as well? & yes I'll admit that y'all do have it worse than me, but there are also people in the world who has it worse than y'all. There are kids in Haiti & Africa & all over the world who don't have any food or family or even a roof over their heads. There are people that literally have to bath, drink, & go to the bathroom all in the same river. I've met some of those people, I might not have met them until after their lives started getting better, but I have met some & there are millions more out there who I haven't met & who's lives aren't getting better. So every fuckin time the "why bother" thought enters my head I think of those people & how brave & courageous they are to keep going. & I dream of how if I keep going then one day I might actually be in a position where I can help them & if there is even a remote chance that one day I might be able to help even 1 person well then that possibility is worth to keep struggling through right now.

If any of this makes sense to you than good for you. If it doesn't than too fuckin bad cause I won't be explaining it further.

~Nina

P.S. Oh & I didn't say I wouldn't be there for you I just said that I won't sit around and watch you give up. There is a HUGE difference. I will ALWAYS try my best to be there for you just like I've ALWAYS done for as long as I've known you.