I always knew there was a bit of a morbid side to me, I've gotten kinda used to it, but what I hate is how it seems to be getting stronger. My morbid side kinda pictures all the ways I can get seriously hurt or killed while doing something. Now it used to be just during things that I was cautioned against. For example, driving to fast over a bridge on a raining day, every time I drive over an over pass I literally picture myself losing control of the car and driving over the side. Now that side of me even pictures me getting seriously doing normal everyday things. Like while I was taking a shower earlier I actually had vivid pictures of myslef slipping and falling backwards cracking my head on the faucet and then the bottom of the tub. I'm 5 foot 8 inches so no small fall. and that tub is bigger than normal cause my mom wanted something she could lounge in comfortably and get completely covered by the water (this was before she had the gastric bypass surgery.) Now I'm sorry but those pictures creeped me out...especially since I wasn't expecting them or prepared for them at all.
This is just one more thing to keep from some people. I already keep so many different things from different people ( & yes as much as it might hurt me to risk hurting you guys by saying this I keep a few things from you guys as well Kai & Kash everyone has their secrets and the ones kept from ya'll are basically just things I'm not ready to face myself ) & I just have to wonder how much more of things I feel I can't share with certain people that I'm gonna be able to take.
~Nina
This is my blog and it will contain anything I fell like putting into it. For once I am going to be completely honest with myself if nowhere else then here. If you don't like it I'm sorry but you don't have to read it. No one is forcing you.
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2 comments:
I've had moments like that. Usually when I'm really upset, and unhappy with myself or a situation I'm in. So, you're not alone really in that aspect. Secrets? Well, I think we all have secrets. Lucky for me, I've found Kash, whom I don't have any secrets from any more. It took me time to completely open up to him, and feel comfortable to just say hey, this is this, I'm not to proud of it, but I can't really help it. Or something of the like, and I'm sure one day, you'll find someone like that as well. Doesn't have to be me, or Kash you tell them too. Nor really should they be. Some things are left to only be between yourself, and your soulmate.
Either way, know you are loved. And understood, for the most part.
I think we all have our moments of doing this. I know I do.
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