Emotions

This time I'm just going to write what pops into my head. For a change not caring what others might think or how they might take it when they read what I write. Though before I begin I have this to say: Read this one if you want & take it anyway you want, just don't ask me to explain it because I'm not sure I'll be able to.

There are so many different emotions running through me all the time, so many that I can't name them all and truth be told I don't even think they all have names, or can be identified. They have existed for so long inside me that I can't even remember a time when they weren't there. However I have always been strong emotionally, though you wouldn't have always been able to tell, and able to keep a grip on them and keep them in check, only letting them out a little at a time and usually over something small that I would easily be able to get over like a movie or a book that no one could ever be able to argue the fact that it isn't reality.

But something has happened. I don't know exactly when or what, I just know it has and that it has just finally come to my attention. For all I know (and I think it is true) it took years to get to this point. I'm slowly loosing control, my grip slipping. I don't think I ever truly completely trusted myself with anything, and the little trust I did have in myself is practically gone, if not already non-existent. Which really leaves one huge question in my mind, that will probably never have an answer, who can I trust and believe in if I can't even trust and believe in myself?

~Nina