Okay so the other night I came very close to an emotional breakdown, but I think in some ways I also started to have an emotional breakthrough. There are times when I feel the weight of every little thing that I carry & yes at times it does get to be too much. At those times I usually have a habit of running away, maybe not always physically, but definitely emotionally. Though I also do withdraw physically as well when the emotional draw doesn't appear to be working.
Part of why I'm able to write this blog, & post it if I manage to do so, is because of whatever it was that happened last night. No I can't really put a name to it, but I do think that it was a step in the right direction for me. & that it will be good for me if I keep making myself take the next step. It will most likely be extremely hard for me & I very well might stumble a time or two, but knowing that I have people who will be there for me no matter what does help.
Will I continue to worry? You bet. Will I still be afraid & even give into my fears a lot? Absolutely. Will I think too much & over analyze a lot? But of course. Will I let that stop me from taking the next step? To be honest, at time probably. Will all of that make for an extremely long journey for me? Well, DUH!!!!!!! But will it be worth it in the end? Oh how I hope so.
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2 comments:
Made me smile, laugh and want to cry all at the same time. Love you lots, and never ever forget that there will always be someone/something there for you. If not physically, spiritually.
I am a tad bit upset that you didn't/don't trust me enough to open up to fully. But, I can understand to an extent what you are going through, since I, too, have a lot of fear with a lot of things. I'm glad you're not going to hold back any longer though, because you deserve a chance to actually live your life instead of living a life that isn't really your life anyway. I don't think that is coming out the way I'm aiming it at, but, hopefully you know/understand what I'm trying to say.
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